Chapter 1.5 Mental Health: Struggle, Denial, Finding a Way Forward

One thing is certain about mental health struggles: denial often becomes the default response. Like the inevitability of the sun rising each morning, those battling mental health issues frequently deny their existence. As I’ve mentioned in earlier blogs, there’s a lingering belief that admitting to mental health struggles is a sign of weakness, and seeking treatment means you’re irreparably broken. This stigma leads many to cope by simply pretending the problem isn’t there.

Looking back, I can’t pinpoint exactly when I realized I had an issue. There were brief moments when I knew something wasn’t right, but those glimpses of clarity quickly changed into denial. I would convince myself that my struggles were someone else’s fault, not mine.

During my military service, those moments became harder to ignore—especially during deployments where I was thousands of miles away on the other side of the world, often I was isolated with my thoughts, a long way from home. Dealing with situations that most don't have to experience at that young age I learned to compartmentalize situations and experiences rather than confront them head on or talk with someone to seek help, I instead chose to bury them.

As I transitioned out of the Army, there was no focus on mental health in my out-processing, or the mention of the possibility of VA benefits, if there were they weren't very extensively explained. I was just eager to be a civilian again. While it’s good to see progress today, with service members being better informed about VA benefits, mental health still tends to be overlooked in claims. Back pain, knee issues, tinnitus, and sleep apnea make the list—but mental health? Often ignored or denied.

Mental health struggles affect everyone differently—how you feel, how it impacts your daily life, your relationships, and your work. For me, the effects were twofold: I excelled professionally in the civilian world, while my personal life unraveled. By my late 20s, I had perfected the art of hiding my struggles, even from myself. At work, I thrived—moving up quickly in a factory environment from team leader to supervisor, to project manager, I moved to different companies, chasing more money or higher positions in the industry trying to attain more success in the only area that hadn't unraveled for me and was a strength. But the energy it took to succeed at work left little for anything else. My personal life was a mess, not always a good husband or father, I made irresponsible decisions, impulsive financial choices and fractured relationships. I was living two lives: a high performer at work and a deeply struggling soul outside of it. The energy it took to be me, to portray myself as something I wasn't was exhausting.

For over a decade, I lived this rollercoaster. Professional highs masked my personal failures, but the denial only deepened the cracks in my foundation. I made the decision to make a career move to try and create a better balance between my personal and professional life, into a slower paced rewarding job as a benefits representative at the VA, where I helped veterans secure disability claims, along with other benefits they had earned. While guiding veterans about the importance of telling their true stories, not to be embarrassed, to share their struggles, opening up when getting evaluated for claims, I couldn’t admit my own struggles. I encouraged others to open up, yet I couldn’t take my own advice.

It wasn’t until my world came crashing down in my late 30s that I was forced to confront my reality. At 39, I was diagnosed with advanced-stage cancer. The year long battle that followed—chemo, radiation, and even topped off with a feeding tube, due to my extreme weight loss from my treatments. It was the hardest time of my life, both mentally and physically, and not knowing how the outcome of this battle would play out, all while trying to grasp the fact that if I lost the battle, there were no more second chances, the finality of how it could end sent me down a rabbit-hole of deep depression. I pushed people away, isolating myself in anger and frustration, struggling with my faith, I was in complete disbelief about the reality of my situation. However outwardly, keeping true to my "norm", I portrayed a positive, inspirational figure on social media, posting treatment updates and encouraging motivational quotes, it was the only way I would really communicate with others. Inwardly, I was struggling just to stay alive.

But in the darkness, I found clarity. Cancer forced me to confront 20 years of mental health struggles and the damage they’d caused to my relationships, family and sense of self. It was during this battle that I finally accepted I had a problem, in my head, the finger pointing and blame stopped while the self reflection and acceptance of all my past actions, two failed marriages and the admittance to myself that I had been the problem or part of the problem all along, this was my complete focus. Acceptance is the first step, but it wasn’t the end of the journey. Even after coming to terms with my mental health, I still wasn’t ready to seek help.

After surviving cancer, I wasn’t the same person. Memory issues, difficulty connecting with people, and a lack of focus made it clear life would be different moving forward. Cancer took the one thing that was easy for me away, the thing I excelled at for years, my new reality was that my former strengths were now weaknesses and I was getting ready to start a whole new chapter in my life wether I was ready ot not. I eventually filed for and received VA disability benefits and retired from work, but the adjustment brought more challenges. For almost a decade, I continued to wrestle with ups and downs, learning to live as the “new me” while still avoiding true healing.

It wasn’t until I fully embraced acceptance and began seeking treatment that my life started to change. It was by no means a one stop fix, there were small improvements, in different stages, over a handful of years but with therapy, medication, and conversations with mental health professionals, as well as opening up to those close to me, it ultimately helped me untangle the chaos of my past. Slowly, I began to understand the root causes of my struggles and learned how to manage them. With the support of loved ones and the right tools, life became more enjoyable—less like a rollercoaster and more like a steady path forward. There are still bumps in the road of life, it all takes true effort to maintain balance, along with patience and love from those who are in your support system. Understanding the whys of it all, acceptance and being truthful with yourself to understand when things start pushing you the wrong direction , allows you catch it, adjust, and get back on track.

Now, I openly share my story because I want to encourage others—especially veterans—to seek help sooner rather than later. Mental health struggles are common, but they don’t have to define you. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of strength. Some of us take decades to find acceptance and seek help, others never do and struggle with it their entire life, yet continue to keep their head just above the water and live with a quality of life that could be so much better with just a few different life decisions. Then there are the unfortunate souls that completely crumble with the pain of living life with no support system, they cannot handle their mental and physical struggles and end up on the streets or just another statistic in the ever growing number of veteran suicides.

Launching Veteran & Enlisted Targeted Solutions has given me the opportunity to connect with others who are battling the same struggles I faced—or worse. I feel blessed to still be here, and even more blessed to be in a position to help others find their way to a better place.

If you’re struggling, know this: you’re not alone. Acceptance is the first step, but reaching out for help is what truly changes lives. Together, we can work the problem and create brighter futures—for ourselves and for those around us.

Thank you for sticking with me through my Struggle With Mental Health-blog series. I wanted to close it out with something personal, encouraging acceptance and seeking help as a true strength.

Stay tuned for my new upcoming blog series, where I’ll shine a light on another critical aspect of veteran life. Together we can drive awareness and create change! #MentalHealth #VeteranSupport #BreakingTheStigma

Chapter 1.4 Veteran Homelessness: Perception vs. Reality

The issue of homelessness, especially among veterans, is full of misconceptions that often hinder meaningful solutions. Public perception is heavily influenced by high-profile cases of fraud, where individuals pose as homeless or disabled to exploit public goodwill. These isolated incidents, though rare, gain significant media attention and foster widespread skepticism toward the homeless community as a whole. This skepticism unfairly impacts those who are genuinely in need, including many veterans who face unique and severe challenges.

The Power of Perception

Stories of fraud, such as individuals pretending to be homeless to solicit donations, leaves a bad taste in the public consciousness. These cases are often spotlighted in the media, reinforcing harmful stereotypes that all or most homeless individuals are not truly in need. This thought process about the issue creates a narrative that is both damaging and inaccurate, eroding trust and discouraging support for those who genuinely require assistance.

The Reality of Veteran Homelessness

Veterans make up a significant portion of the homeless population, and their struggles are often rooted in complex, untreated mental health issues. Many veterans experiencing homelessness once led stable and successful lives, but service-related trauma, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, or physical injuries, often triggers a downward spiral. This “domino effect” can lead to job loss, strained relationships, substance abuse, and ultimately, homelessness. Unlike fraudulent cases, these individuals face enormous barriers to recovery, often compounded by the stigma surrounding homelessness and mental health.

The Impact of Stigma

The actions of a few fraudulent individuals cast a shadow over the homeless community. These doubts shape public perception, making it easier for people to generalize and dismiss all homeless individuals as untrustworthy. This stigma unfairly affects homeless veterans, many of whom are unable to advocate for themselves due to severe mental or physical health challenges. Consequently, public support and charitable contributions become more challenging to attain, further reducing the resources available to those in legitimate need.

The Need for Education and Advocacy

Most people lack firsthand understanding of homelessness and are quick to form opinions based on limited, often misleading, information. Without engaging directly with by visiting shelters, speaking with individuals experiencing homelessness, or volunteering, it’s difficult to grasp the reality of the situation . Sharing first hand experiences of veteran outreach detailing their struggles can help dismantle stereotypes and build empathy within the community.

A Call to Action

The path forward requires both trust and accountability. Supporting reputable, transparent organizations is essential to ensuring that donations and resources are directed to those who need them most. These services are necessary to break the cycle of homelessness among veterans. Advocacy at both the community and policy levels is crucial to addressing the root causes of this crisis.

Balancing Perception and Reality

For every case of fraud, there are countless veterans who are struggling silently, trapped in a cycle of poverty, untreated mental illness, and despair. As a society, we must resist the temptation to allow isolated incidents to define our perceptions. Instead, we should focus on understanding the real challenges faced by the homeless community and working together to create effective solutions.

Homelessness, particularly among veterans, is a deeply human issue that requires compassion, education, and action. By shifting the narrative away from stigma and toward understanding, we can build a more supportive system that ensures no veteran is left behind.

Chapter 1.3 The Forgotten Warriors: Addressing Homelessness Among Veterans

In my previous blogs, I’ve shared my personal battles with mental health and spoken about the reluctance many soldiers feel in addressing their struggles while in the military. The ridicule, embarrassment, and fear of consequences often silence those who need help, leading to a domino effect that impacts their lives long after they leave the service. Today, I want to turn our attention to a group of veterans who have fallen through the cracks completely, the homeless veterans who the military and the Department of Veterans Affairs have failed to catch.

These veterans, many of whom battle untreated mental health conditions or substance dependency, live in unimaginable circumstances. Without access to medical care, mental health treatment, or medication, they wander from place to place, carrying their lives in bags and laying their heads down wherever they can. They are often without transportation, money, or even basic necessities. It is maddening, heartbreaking and beyond comprehension that those who once served our country are left in such conditions.

A Personal Wake-Up Call

Recently I had a personal experience that brought this reality into sharper focus for me. A Personal Wake-Up Call Years ago, I fought a year-long battle with cancer, a difficult and life-changing experience. Thankfully, I emerged on the other side cancer-free, but the treatments left lasting consequences. The chemotherapy and radiation severely damaged my thyroid, and I’ve since relied on daily medication to function properly. Missing just a few days of my medication can leave me physically and mentally drained. I am not complaining it is much better than dealing with the alternative option I could have faced.

A few weeks ago, I accidentally let my prescription lapse, leaving me without my medication for four days. At first, I felt fine, but by the second day, I started to feel run-down. By the fourth day, I was lethargic, struggling to even climb a flight of stairs, and barely able to function. It was a stark reminder of how crucial my medication is to my daily life and how blessed I am to have access to it through the VA.

This experience sent my mind down the rabbit hole, I thought about the homeless veteran population, those without access to the medication and healthcare they desperately need. Many likely suffer from conditions similar to mine, or worse, without any treatment at all. They live in a state of constant exhaustion, unable to function, let alone navigate the complex systems required to access their earned benefits.

A Harsh Reality

Many of these veterans are eligible for healthcare and resources through the VA, yet they remain disconnected from the system. Whether due to a lack of knowledge, mistrust, or logistical barriers, they cannot access the care they’ve earned through their service. Imagine living day to day with untreated medical and mental health conditions, no medications, and no support system. It’s no wonder so many veterans end up on the streets, unable to find a way out.

Reflecting on my brief experience without medication, I realized how easily life can spiral out of control without proper support. I have a strong network of loved ones and access to resources, yet I struggled after just a few days. For those without these lifelines, the struggle is magnified a thousand times over.

Taking Action

At Veteran & Enlisted Targeted Solutions (VETS), we’re currently running a donation drive collecting essential cold weather clothing items to help the homeless population stay warm during the harsh winter months. While this is an important effort, it’s not nearly enough. We need to address the root causes of veteran homelessness.

Motivated by my recent experience, I’ve committed to doing more. I plan to spend at least one day each week visiting shelters and streets, seeking out homeless veterans. My goal is to assist them in obtaining their DD214s, enrolling them in VA Healthcare , and accessing the benefits they’ve earned. Enrollment into VA Healthcare is a relatively easy process with accessibility to the internet and devices to apply with, however these aren't luxuries our homeless have. Many of these veterans may not even want help initially, but I’ll do everything I can to encourage them.

This isn’t just about providing resources; it’s about building trust. Many veterans on the streets are at the final stages of their lives, clinging to survival without hope. Without medical care, mental health treatment, or a helping hand, their chances of escaping homelessness are slim to none

A Community Mission This effort isn’t something I can do alone. It requires a community of veterans and compassionate individuals coming together to address this crisis. We must extend the camaraderie we shared in the military to our civilian lives, reaching out to our fellow veterans and pulling them back from the edge.

Homelessness among veterans isn’t just a personal failure; it’s a societal one. These men and women served our country, and it’s our responsibility to ensure they don’t spend their final days in despair. At this stage, it’s no longer about acceptance—it’s about rescue. We’re on a mission to work the problem and save lives, and we must succeed.

Homelessness among veterans isn’t just a personal failure; it’s a societal one. These men and women served our country, and it’s our responsibility to ensure they don’t spend their final days in despair. At this stage, it’s no longer about acceptance—it’s about rescue. We’re on a mission to work the problem and save lives, and we must succeed.

The battle to end veteran homelessness is a fight we cannot afford to lose. Let’s come together as a community and show our veterans the same dedication and support they once showed us.

Help Us Provide Warmth and Hope This Winter:

I’ve added our Amazon Homeless Cold Weather Survival Pack Wish List to this blog to make giving easy and impactful. With just a few clicks, you can provide life-saving essentials to those in need. Whether you’re able to purchase a $3.99 fleece blanket—the lowest-priced item on our list—or a 20-pack of sleeping bags for $229.99, every donation makes a difference. The list includes individual and bulk items at various price points to make it accessible for everyone to contribute.

With your generous donations, I plan to assemble identical cold weather survival packs. Each pack will include:    •   10 pairs of socks

   •   2 pairs of gloves    

•   A beanie    

•   A neck warmer  

  •   A fleece blanket   

 •   A sleeping bag

These packs will be distributed to homeless shelters and communities in the Louisville area, packed into a Ford Transit van that we aim to fill completely. If we exceed our initial goal, we’ll expand our outreach to other communities throughout the state.

Why It Matters

Winter is a dangerous time for those living without shelter. Something as simple as a warm blanket or a pair of socks can mean the difference between life and death. Together, we can provide these life-saving essentials and bring hope to those who need it most.

How You Can Help

How You Can Help I’ve made the process as simple and effortless as possible.

1. Visit our Amazon Wish List (linked below in comment section)

2. Select the item(s) you’d like to donate.

3. Complete your purchase. The items will automatically ship to us for packing and distribution.

Together, we can make a difference in the lives of our homeless neighbors. Thank you for joining this mission to combat homelessness, one survival pack at a time. Let’s work the problem together and bring warmth, hope, and dignity to those who need it the most. Just click the tab below and make your purchase every donation matters! Thank you!